So many words...So much paint...so much pain flood the hearts and minds of human beings. Now especially when you are dating. Oh ! Dating is sweet, well most times. Some times one gets confused. It is perfectly understandable. One wonders if love is worth it. One can actually conclude that mutual attraction is a myth. He never calls you out in public. He never says something like " I love you,Sarah" at loud outside. He might not recognize you as his girlfriend. You might just be assuming you are in a relationship. Yet you are hurt or simply don't like it. You keep asking yourself if he is yours. You wonder if he actually cares. You might decide one day to ignore it. Then the next minute, you check your BBM and realize he is using another woman's picture as his display. Unfortunately for you he never uses your picture. Is he sticking to the Bro Code? Pause. I have learnt a lot about this Bro Code of a thing. It would surprise you if I told you all what I have discovered. I must say I am surprised, shocked, intrigued and amused. Basically I have been conducting a "secret" research on the Bro Code/ Low Key way of life. Well it's not a secret anymore. I want to plead with you all (lol) to give me till the 24th of December 2012. I will share all my acquired knowledge, stats and whatever I think i can find on this site. The Bro Code is fascinating at the same time a bit uncalled for. Anyways, that's a topic for another day.
As I was saying...He can't admit that he is in a relationship. He claims to be single. What do you do or say at that point ? The Golden Rule for this type of situation is: If he can't give you a good reason why he wants to keep the relationship a secret/on the low, something is wrong. If you can't find out what it is, MOVE ON. Let's say you want to spend the rest of your life with him. If can act single when both of you are dating, what makes you think he won't do same when you married ? Falling in love isn't only about the heart. God gave you a heart to love and brains to think and question. Use your brains too when dealing with love. Here are the 3 steps to try solving such issues (if you really want to make it work) :
1. Find out what is going on
You don't need to search his phone/things before you can tell something is going on. Use your instincts. Besides acting single doesn't necessarily mean he is having an affair. He might be that he isn't the serious type of person. If he's not your man, he is not your man. Love diligently. Besides, most men don't believe in love or "falling in love" rather. So as to not be the only giver in the relationship, make sure you know your stand. Same thing goes for women who act single. Oh yes, women can be cold too. But most times women do that in order not to seem vulnerable or get hurt. It all comes down to your views and definition of life. If something is meant to be, it will work out. You won't feel ignored.
2. Talk to your partner about it
It's difficult to talk to a man without him thinking you are nagging. I have been there, done that and felt that. So trust me when I say this, if he calls you a nag for expressing how you feel. Forget about it. Of course you shouldn't nag. If he misunderstands you times without number, seek something better. It all depends on the kind of person you are. Are you the emotional type ? Are you the hard type? But if it hurts you and you've reached out to him without results, know where you stand. Pushing hard to make something work, sometimes makes it work out. Sometimes it does not. A bit of luck and destiny coupled with hard work, true love and trust can make a relationship work out for the best. If he does care and respect you, he will change. If not make an effort to change. I don't think he will still be on the Bro Code side of life by the age of 45. A man is bound to "grow up" sometime. Oh ! that reminds me ! His level of maturity can have an effect on how he acts and reacts. Age is just a number.
3. Decide
I'm in no one's head. I may not know what or how you feel. But I will tell you to think. Take your time. Remember God gave you a heart and brains. Use them accordingly. Be the mature one. Do not let your emotions overshadow your good judgement. Getting angry is a waste of time. All though you are totally entitled to that emotion. Stressing yourself is a waste of time as well. The big question is : Can you keep up with his lifestyle ?
As I was saying...He can't admit that he is in a relationship. He claims to be single. What do you do or say at that point ? The Golden Rule for this type of situation is: If he can't give you a good reason why he wants to keep the relationship a secret/on the low, something is wrong. If you can't find out what it is, MOVE ON. Let's say you want to spend the rest of your life with him. If can act single when both of you are dating, what makes you think he won't do same when you married ? Falling in love isn't only about the heart. God gave you a heart to love and brains to think and question. Use your brains too when dealing with love. Here are the 3 steps to try solving such issues (if you really want to make it work) :
1. Find out what is going on
You don't need to search his phone/things before you can tell something is going on. Use your instincts. Besides acting single doesn't necessarily mean he is having an affair. He might be that he isn't the serious type of person. If he's not your man, he is not your man. Love diligently. Besides, most men don't believe in love or "falling in love" rather. So as to not be the only giver in the relationship, make sure you know your stand. Same thing goes for women who act single. Oh yes, women can be cold too. But most times women do that in order not to seem vulnerable or get hurt. It all comes down to your views and definition of life. If something is meant to be, it will work out. You won't feel ignored.
2. Talk to your partner about it
It's difficult to talk to a man without him thinking you are nagging. I have been there, done that and felt that. So trust me when I say this, if he calls you a nag for expressing how you feel. Forget about it. Of course you shouldn't nag. If he misunderstands you times without number, seek something better. It all depends on the kind of person you are. Are you the emotional type ? Are you the hard type? But if it hurts you and you've reached out to him without results, know where you stand. Pushing hard to make something work, sometimes makes it work out. Sometimes it does not. A bit of luck and destiny coupled with hard work, true love and trust can make a relationship work out for the best. If he does care and respect you, he will change. If not make an effort to change. I don't think he will still be on the Bro Code side of life by the age of 45. A man is bound to "grow up" sometime. Oh ! that reminds me ! His level of maturity can have an effect on how he acts and reacts. Age is just a number.
3. Decide
I'm in no one's head. I may not know what or how you feel. But I will tell you to think. Take your time. Remember God gave you a heart and brains. Use them accordingly. Be the mature one. Do not let your emotions overshadow your good judgement. Getting angry is a waste of time. All though you are totally entitled to that emotion. Stressing yourself is a waste of time as well. The big question is : Can you keep up with his lifestyle ?
No comments:
Post a Comment